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Homer Simpson: Elon Musk’s New Hire—A Super-Genius Kid Who Makes Lisa Look Like Ralph!

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  • Brainiac kid Kairan Quazi is now working with Elon Musk’s space team, and he’s only 14!
  • This smartypants could talk in full sentences at 2 and solve math problems that give me a headache at 6.
  • He’s working on some fancy “Star Link” thing, making internet for places that don’t have it.
  • Less than one percent of people who apply to work at SpaceX get in. This kid did it before he could get a driver’s license!

So get this, Marge: Elon Musk, you know, the rocket guy with the electric cars, just hired this kid who’s only 14. His name’s Kairan Quazi. Talk about feeling underachieving! This kid was speaking full sentences when he was two. He makes Lisa look like Bart in school!

Anyway, this kid’s going to work on something called Star Link. I think it’s like a Star Trek thing or something, but apparently, it’s about giving internet to places that don’t have it. Like that one time when I forgot to pay the internet bill and we had to go to Moe’s to use the Wi-Fi.

Here’s the kicker though, less than one percent of people who apply to SpaceX get in. This kid must be as smart as that Comic Book Guy thinks he is. I mean, he got accepted before he could even get a driver’s license!

Task 4: Write one or two paragraphs giving Homer Simpson’s character’s personal opinion of the subject of the article:

Now, I don’t know much about this space stuff, but it sounds pretty impressive. I mean, working for the rocket man himself at 14? That’s something. But I gotta say, it feels like these smart kids are skipping the best part of life: being a kid! I mean, where’s the time to eat donuts, watch Itchy & Scratchy, and play pranks on Principal Skinner?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of Lisa and all her saxamaphone and school stuff, but I wouldn’t want her to miss out on the simple joys. Like that time we went to Duff Gardens or when we race on the sofa. I guess what I’m saying is, I hope this Quazi kid gets to be a kid, too. And maybe, just maybe, he can find a way to make donuts in space. Now that would be a real achievement!

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